I Cannot Stay Quiet Anymore! Love God. Love People.

Ok, so read this is if you want or go read about someone's drama of losing their favorite pencil.. Choice is yours.
But can I just say something...
I REALLY feel angry... Not like a sinful angry but just a "had enough" kind of anger.
I am tired. I am tired of trying to figure out "people's" way of living a Christian life.
I say this bc I'm sorry... "man" has created this "Christian" life as a whole bunch of rules that no one can obey. No one.
God does not expect us to be a perfect rule follower. In fact He KNOWS 100% we.will.fail. If we put our trust in anything other than Him.

I am someone who has had to learn everything the hard way.
I have hurt my family more than I want to focus on but you know what. I can stand up on solid ground and say... That I AM REDEEMED and saved by my God through His only son.
Who is the way. The truth. And the light. And NO ONE comes to the Father except through Him.
It is by grace alone I have not been sent to the darkest part of hell.... Bc that is exactly what I deserve... Sorry but that is exactly what all of us deserve.
But God sent His son to die on a cross so that we CAN be saved.

It really angers me that people expect us "Christian" Christ followers to be quiet about our beliefs... and I'm sorry.... But my God, Savior, the Lord of Lord and King of Kings has saved me from WAY to much to be quiet.

It's like I have a billion dollars burning in my hand and want to give it out to everyone... But everyone thinks it is a joke...
And it is free.... It is God's gift:
His gift of help, healing, and redeeming!

I'm sorry if "Christians" have given Jesus a bad name... I'm sorry I have given my God a bad name. I am a bad example of what He is,has been, and will always be!
Stop looking at other sinners to see the face of God.... He is SO much better than our dirty rags we have to offer.

Christians. WAKE UP! I mean really where are you???
We have two things to do in this life here on Earth...
1. Love God
2. Love your neighbor....
He answered, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

Yes, your black neighbor.
Yes, your white neighbor.
Yes, your gay neighbor.
Yes, your completely straight judgmental neighbor.
Yes, your lying neighbor.
Yes, the murderer that lives next to you! Oh, you didn't know you lived by a murderer or an adulteress??? Well, God says

Matthew 5:28
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman (or man) lustfully has already committed adultery with her (him) in his (her) heart.

1 John 3:15a
Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer

Samuel 16:7b
7b "For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Life is short. Better make sure your heart is covered by the blood! You have the choice today.... Not when you're dead and standing before a holy and just God.

Thankful God doesn't see my sin. He sees his son's blood that was shed for me...
Stop fighting for yourself... God is always here... Don't you think if he created you He knows you inside and out... Don't you think he wants the absolute best for you and your life.

Christians stop sitting back and letting others tell us to keep quiet.... I'm sorry. I have had enough. I'm tired of feeling like I am the odd man out when God has put the very breath in me to even have a life...
Yes, you will see my sin... Everyday. That I can promise you.... But I'm not chained to that sin... and I am not chained to satan... He has NO POWER over me... I was bought with a price.... My Jesus's blood... He paid my way to an abundant life!

There are so many hurting people.... Why aren't we the hands and feet of Jesus? Jesus gave everything for us... So why can't we give back to Him? Me completely included

Christians are just as sinful as
nonbelievers... We just know we have true freedom in Christ.. Bc He is good enough.. And Nothing else was or ever will be...
It just makes me sad when I look at myself first and think.... "No wonder people want to shut us out..." "Christians" are so fake, judgmental, hard to live with and harder to be friends with....
They always have something to say or someone to talk about... So why in the world would anyone WANT what we have...

Then. I became angry.... Really angry with Satan. In thinking... Here you have kept me silent for YEARS because I was "afraid" to give God a bad name.... Bc my sin has been so obvious. And the problem is my flesh is nothing of the Lords! But. My heart does belong to Jesus... Has for 25 years! Twenty five! So no more.
I want people to see me as a complete sinner, but a sinner who has hope. Bc of Jesus.

Jesus is the answer to ALL questions.... Not man.
We only think we know God's way... We have no idea.
And the truth is... If I start believing I know what is right and who is doing right. I'm completely thrown off.... I want people to see what I have tasted is good.... Not the beer, the sex, the gossip, or hypocrisy...

People get so tied up on "Well, if He/ She loved God he/ she wouldn't be doing that"
Or God doesn't like gay people.... Well, I'm sorry but God loves ALL people so I think "gay, straight, purple or green" fit in the "ALL" category. I'm glad it isn't my job to judge anyone hearts... It is only my job to love them. 😊

So yes.
I am a Christian that have gay friends.
I am a Christian that has Christian friends who gossip and heck gossip right along with them...
I am a Christian that has black, white, brown and a beautiful blend of all three friends,
I am a Christian that had sex before she was married.
But. I am a Christian.
I am a Christ follower, who is being turned into something beautiful.
God promises that. He promises that He makes ALL things beautiful...

"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end."
~Ecclesiastes 3:11~

So all my sin. All my hurt, and ugly heart... He is making more like Him everyday.

I say all this to not give "fire assurance" to believers who know the Lord but want to keep on living for themselves.... And just "love others"
If you truly love something you live for it.... So if you say you love God you wouldn't be choosing to live in complete sin... I have so been there... I said with my mouth I loved God but my actions where the out pour of a very selfish heart....
My heart has really loved ME more times than one...
I have been there... Done that. More times than I even wanted. I can promise you.... That since God is a just God.... And He does not tolerate sin. It will. not. Go.without. punish.

So whatever sin we all have in our lives... We need to know it needs to be confessed...

Sin brings consequences.

Sin takes more away than you ever intended to give...
It has stolen so much of me that I have to face everyday...

BUT the difference now it doesn't have a hold on me anymore.... It doesn't keep me from not sharing Gods goodness anymore...

I want people to know I will mess up... But I want them to know the peace my God gives me.... A hope I can live with, and a strength so that I can face tomorrow.
And a love that can love others like Jesus did....

The free gift is here.... Will you choose to receive it?

Christians.... Stop hiding. Stand up for your living God.
"If God is for me... Who can be against me?!"

A Love Letter of Thanks

This is about someone who is the most special person in my life. Someone who NEVER is selfish and only thinks of others. Someone who strives to be the very best in everything he does because he wants the very best for his family, and the people he cares about. He knows the meaning of a being a friend and would give everything and anything if he knew it would help. This wonderful man is..... my husband. Jackson Dale Pearson, or better known as Chip. =)

It amazes me that God has brought us together and there is no doubt that he is perfect for me and my crazy
ways. =) He is the love of my life, my prince from a fairy tale, and most important my bestfriend. He knows my strengths and makes them stronger, and he knows my weaknesses to only be able to pick up my pieces. We laugh, we cry, I fight and he listens. =) We just know how to have fun and enjoy each day we have together. He knows just what to say when Im upset or concerned. He knows how to make me not just think it will be ok, but KNOW it will be. He is someone that I trust 110 % (which isn't easy for me) in the big things and the small. When I walk in a crowd he makes me so proud to say he is mine and is FOREVER. I find myself talking about him to others more than they probably care to know, bc he is all I think about when Im away. He is a friend that everyone needs. He knows what it means to be a "good friend" to know how to care, and to think only about the interests of others. He knows how to makes people laugh, and help them enjoy what they have.

Chip has been through a lot and he only takes those tough times to make him enjoy the things he has now. He has never once acted like "Why me?" "Poor pitiful me". He looks at those hard times with strength and dignity.

Chip is a GREAT dad!! Even from the beginning with my year supply of diapers and wipes so I would never have to want or waking up with me and the baby in the middle of the night to make sure there wasn't anything that he could do. He simply wanted to be present to make sure I knew that I wasn’t alone and we were in this together. He doesn't wait for me to tell him how to help he just knows and does. He knows how to be gentle and a tough daddy too.

The most special thing to me is that Jay LOVES Chip!!! When I say LOVES him Im telling you more than his loves his Momma. LoL =). At first I wasn't sure if I was ok with this, because I do like being number one, but now I love it and so blessed to be apart of their special bond. I love to see them play together and the way Jay lights up when he sees him. He wants to be him all the time. The love that they share is so amazing to me.

One thing that has ALWAYS been important to me was to marry someone that had a heart for people and more importantly a heart for the Lord. The way that Chip searches for God's will in everything that he does is SO incredible to me. He wakes up every morning and meets with the Lord. This isn’t something he told me and he wasn't thinking “I need attention for this, but just that it is something I desire and look forward to each day”. No one has to tell him just the Holy Spirit inside who gives him the desire to be the man of God that he wants to be, and is for his family. It is so neat to see the fruit in his life and how the Lord is using him. He pushes me towards the cross and pushes me to be a better person. Not always in words but simply by just taking me by the hand to lead me in the right directions. By doing this he is telling me "We are doing this together you aren't alone". How AWESOME is God to send me such a man!

This is just a glimpse of my blessing, a blessing name Chip. Who I am SO proud to say is my husband and I am his wife....FOREVER. I know God has given me a rare fairy tale to live and I can end it with saying “We live 'Happily Ever After'".


To The Love of My Life,

    Thank you for being my best friend and choosing me to be your partner in life. God has already blessed us with so many wonderful things. I know He still has many more awesome wonders in store for us, and all we have to do is simply chose Him everyday, every hour, and every minute. Chip, I can promise you that not only do I want to be the best wife to you and the best mother to Jay, but that more importantly I want to be a Godly influence in both of your lives. My biggest desire and what is truly most important to me is that I want to be a sister in Christ that pushes you to be a better man of God and for God. Someone who pushes you like you push me towards the cross, and I know that with the help of my Lord, and Christ as my rock I will be and do just that. I can say through my failures I will learn, and I will always try to keep Christ as our family’s rock. I can not wait to see the chapters unfold with my prince by my side. I am so thankful that you will be the hand I’m holding while we go through both the good and the bad in this life here on earth.

With All of My Heart Love,

Your Girl =)

WAY past time to update!

I kept telling myself it is way past time to update the blog, so 2 months later....here we are. Chip and I are still trying to make Greenville home. Which is really hard when we are both wanting to go back to Augusta. I am still loving being a stay at home mom, but I think I'm going to have to start looking for a job. =( Hopefully it wont kill me.

Chip and I are running in a Mud Run tomorrow! Which is 4 1/2 mile obstacle course through you guessed it the mud! I can't wait!! My team has ONE objective and that is to BEAT CHIP! Which just happens to be our team name. :) I have 4 girls on my team, and Chip is doing it with some guys from work. It is suppose to rain so this will be interesting. I know some of y'all are wondering is Myrtle gone?? NOPE still there and ready to have some fun!!!! But I will say she is starting to get shy and isn't as apparent to the public. I have lost 12 lbs! I never thought I would be so excited. Chip is still running like crazy and looks amazing!

What is the little man doing these days? Well......

Craws EVERYWHERE.

Starting to pull up on the furniture

Says MMMumma, ( we work on this everyday =0) )

Loves bath time and has no problem getting his face wet. Which I'm hoping that means he will learn how to swim this summer.

Eating solid foods. Still a challenge.

Has 7 teeth, cutting his 8th one now (poor baby)

Can hold his own bottle, but is still figuring out the sippy cup.

Sits himself up

If holding his hands will start walking (slow and just a little)

Recognizes people that he knows, and will reach out to them

Will go to anyone that shows him attention, and will reach out to even them

Finally likes to entertain himself.

Gives kisses

Will go up to toys and knows how to make them work.
*Example: If the ball has to be pushed to start singing he will go over and push it. Or he has a bear that does all kind of things, so he knows if he sits on it the bear will start singing.

Cruises across furniture (which makes me nervous so doesn't happen much)

Still is not sleeping through the night, but is starting to put himself back to sleep. THANK GOODNESS!!

Still napping twice a day

Actually going to get his first hair cut today!

That is pretty much it in the Pearson Fam!

God is good!

So, I'm thinking about how good God is, and decided...HEY this is what my blog is suppose to be for. To let EVERYONE know what the Lord is doing in my life. So, I am up here in Greenville with my wonderful boys. Loving life....but most days feel like I just need a GOOD cry! Ya know...really want it to come out before someone asks you how you are doing, and at that moment you just let it ALL out! And that person at that time is like...wow...I shouldn't have asked. Tell you the truth I don't really know why I have been feeling like this...I LOVE being married, Chip is a WONDERFUL husband...no DOUBT I have the best in the whole world, and yeah I know thats a lot of men to say I have the BEST, but I do. I really do LOVE being home with the baby. I love knowing every little detail about him. I think it just started getting to me that EVERYday I do the SAME thing, watch the same shows...and nothing changes. Ill realize wow it is almost the end of the week, and I have left my house um maybe once this entire week. Ok, if anyone knows me I am a VERY active person. So, I really thought to myself "am i depressed and not even know it?!" "OH GREAT Im going to be wearing those moo moo's before my time!" So, I'm thinking you know..I have no friends....which means I have no fellowship. NOT GOOD. Perfect place for satan to just squeeze himself into my life, and I not even notice it. And as we all know I have been through enough letting satan take control. Yep, enough to already last me two life times. No more lessons to be learned there. But here is why God is so good. I have been praying just for contentment, fellowship, growth, something. Boy, God answered my prayers FAST! My sister calls me and tells me about this program called Mentor Moms. At her church. Thought, huh, should be fun. I knew this was an open door for me.
It was today, and BOY was satan trying to attack me. I did NOT feel like going AT ALL! Not sure why. I think I was in this whole " I don't want to meet new friends. I have my friends thanks though." But I went and no lie as soon as I pulled up in the parking lot I KNEW it was going to be great! and it was. The girls were wonderful, and I look fwd to getting to know them! I needed today SO MUCH....and that leads me back to me wishing I had let all my tears out. Well today when we were all about to start praying together...I could feel it coming...I'm like GREAT everyone is going to be like WoW! "Maybe we should lay hands on this one! LoL" So, the lead lady was in our group just talking about some girl, and here I am just crying....she looks at me and is like "oh honey!"...I thinking I don't know WHY I'm crying please don't ask. But it was good. Some of the girls have already emailed me and are reaching out. Bless them! I'm going to the library tomorrow with two girls in my group for story time. I'm so excited! The little things that get you excited when you are a mom!

So, this is how I get spoiled with God. Bc He knew I couldn't wait to get friends I needed them NOW! I was not thinking that or how bad it was, and seriously JUST started praying about it. Its neat how the Lord was softening my heart (even when I didn't think it needed to be soften), so that I could go today. I was thinking well...when it comes it comes, but really I had a hard heart about it. I'm already starting to like Greenville better and its ok if this is my home forever. God will take care of me and my family. If I DO put Him first and seek out followship and Christian friends. It's out there.

Update on Jay. He has TWO teeth now!!! I can't believe it! He is starting to sit up. My little man is growing up so fast. He has his 6 month check up on Friday!!!! I still can't believe he is that old! Its funny how my love for Jay has changed. Im starting to love him for who he IS. Not just bc I created this little thing and he is all mine. I love Jay bc of the little person that he is, and the personality that he has now. My favorite two things are: when he wakes up and is playing in his crib and looks up at me and smiles! Its like he is saying, "Ah my favorite person in the world!", and when he sees Chip and just smiles and smiles!! He will watch him all night, just stares at him with this look like "Man, I want to be JUST like you one day Dad!"

Figured out something needs to change!

So, we all know when you have a baby you gain weight. Well....I gained enough weight that people thought I was having TWINS! I just started telling them, "nah I'm having triplets"! Then they would go "REALLY? Girl, you look good!" Lets just say it made this over weight preggo girl feel A LOT better. I took "eating for two" to a whole new level. Well, ALL the weight just doesn't go away. So, to all the girls that think that, or has ONE friend in that case...to MOST of us we have to work really hard to get it back off, and I figure by the time you get the baby love fat off from your first baby you see those wonderful two pink lines again, and you have to start over with the weight gain. Uh. This is why grandmothers wear moo moo's they just gave up. So, since most of us don't have personal trainers that come to our house, and the chefs that cook us our wonderful low fat/ high protein meals. We do it on our own.

So, I'm in the process of trying to get all this baby love fat off right? I'm online the other day talking to my mom... telling her yeah I need to lose weight... my goal weight...blah blah blah, and here it comes..She goes "Oh yeah!? That is my goal weight too!" WAIT. WHAT!?! PROBLEM HERE! Yep, that had to changed right then and there. I am 24years old with the SAME goal weight as my mother! Lovely. Nope not going to happen. The only problem is now I feel like my mother is going to beat me to my "our" goal weight. AH! I know everyone says, "Man, I USE to be in shape." "In high school I did this or that, or wore this size.", but really I was somewhat in good shape before I got pregnant. Never once did I think I would get excited about just loosing two pounds! But I did! Had to text Chip as soon as I stepped off that scale. Boy, do I have a LONG way to go.

Something else that drives me crazy. This too happen to me just a couple of day ago. I was talking to a girl that just had a baby, and yeah she looks better than I do she is one of those ONE friends that lost all her baby love fat all at once.(Come on girls you know that is one of the first things we look at..thinking to ourselves " Have I lost more weight than her?!" or "Do I look like that?!"or "Man I thought I gained a lot of weight!")Well, all she kept doing was looking at my stomach not my face. I could not even talk, bc all I wanted to say was..STOP looking at Myrtle! (Myrtle is my baby love fat, Yeah, I named it. It all started with "Girdle-Myrtle", "Myrtle can't stand the spanks", "Myrtle needs to be in the girdle. Not really sure WHY it stuck, but it just did. Probably my husband. I wanted to be like "Myrtle doesn't like attention, and for sure doesn't like people staring at her!"

So, to say alllll that. I figured out I needed to change something, really anything. I'm running, lifting weights and spinning every day, well, ALMOST everyday. Boy, is Myrtle hating every minute of it!

Wow I'm a Blogger now!

So, I decided to go ahead and create a blog for the Pearson family! Yes, good stay at home moms would be cleaning, washing, you know laying out their husbands clothes. Right now, I'm just not quite there yet. =)Probably why Chip would like if I got a job.

I can't believe the baby is going to be 6 months OLD!!! Everyone tells you that time flies but man...I don't even think I blinked and I'm here. I remember this time last year... I just heard my sweet little angels heart beat. Thinking to myself. "Lord I have no idea what you have in store for me or my baby, but I know you are going to do AMAZING things." And as you know boy, He has!! Chip was just coming back into my life around this time last year. It's crazy how the Lord was strengthening our relationship to be able to be best friends for life! After Chip gave me my year supply of diapers....I knew I was in love! =)

Now, we are here...Living the simple life. Well, simple for us..probably still pretty crazy for most. The baby is almost 6 months old and SLEEPING through the night!! Whoo Hoo!! He rolls all over the place, and is getting his first tooth! Chip and I have been married almost 2 months, and loving every minute of it. It's better than people say...so you know.... life is good!